Perception

How the world thinks faculty members spend their semester break.

How faculty members ACTUALLY spend their semester break (working on promotion and tenure materials, reading feedback from "Reviewer 2" on manuscript and conference submissions, etc.).

Oops.

The student realized - a bit too late - that this indeed was NOT rocket science.

Timing

That moment you have to high five your friend because you both waited most of the semester to do your laundry, you got to the laundry room at the same time, and there were enough machines for all of both of your loads.

FYI

Just so you know, "I had an ice cream headache" does not always count as a legitimate reason for a class absence.

Observations

The class got the sense that Prof was going to be a little prickly today.

Knowledge

No one was sure why, but it was VERY important to the professor that the class know the difference between a lectern and a podium. Once a semester, what came to be known as the "Lectern Lecture" would take place. That particular class meeting was often not very well attended.

Balance

After a few weeks of fast food, streaming shows, working on projects, and only leaving the house to go to class and work, you might want to mix it up a bit by getting outside and visiting nature.

Or at least getting outside to take out the trash.

Planning

When you turned down every social invitation for the weekend because you're behind on the three papers and two projects due on Monday and THAT'S the weekend Mom drives into town for a surprise visit.

Communication

"I think I must have missed the group message about class today," thought the student. 

Teamwork

Once the class had paired up, the professor realized that there was one team that likely would only turn in a bare bones draft that she would have to ask them to flesh out multiple times for this assignment.

No.

The professor was pretty sure that the student knew neither the meaning behind nor the actual words of "O Captain, My Captain," when the student began, "O Captain Marvel, My Captain Marvel..."

Speech

Having come to class unprepared, the student tried to derail things with a rendition of "Captain, My Captain."

Sorting

The students were excited when the professor brought out the "Sorting Hat" for class. Their enthusiasm waned quickly, however, when they learned they were to be sorted into "Students Who Barely Passed the Midterm" and "Students Who Did not Pass the Midterm."

Surprise!

The faculty member was disappointed that the class did not seem prepared for the pop quiz.

Victory!

The student was ecstatic that the library had a copy of the $200 textbook for their class. 

Hm.

The professor had developed a pretty accurate BULL**** detector when it came to students giving excuses.

BONUS

One of the best parts of an assistantship in student affairs? A lifetime supply of branded water bottles. 

First Day

The students did not have a good feeling about this new faculty member.

Cutting

Even though there is more flexibility in graduate school, don't cut class. Like the old slogan says, "Don't cut class, cut grass."

"Actually, that's not an old saying and no one says it!!" you say?

You're wrong. I bet that was covered in class one of the days you skipped.

Go to class.

People

There are two kinds of people in graduate school - angry people and people who give you a milkshake. You can choose which one you want to be.

Goals

Setting goals is important. If you don't plan, you may not get where you want to be. Having a whistle is also important. Or a clipboard. If you have a whistle or a clipboard people will think you're in charge and know what you're doing. If you have both of them - well then, you'll be unstoppable.

Beginnings

It was great that the new semester started off with a bang. It was also good that starting off with a bang was something the student anticipated so that they didn't wet themselves a little bit when it happened.